Just some sheer thoughts

Hello lovelies! Okay, I know it's been awhile. Probably a month since my last update, I sincerely apologize about this because recently I've been busy with a lot of things especially school that started already, sem break over, and there's a pageant contest I recently joined ( will definitely blog about it ) maybe in the next post if I'm not lazy. LOL.  And my camera was frozen, lol. I didn't touched it for weeks and it was frozen, hopefully will be back to normal sooner or later so I can post some pictures for my next blog post. The problem with me now, I very demotivated with everything maybe because of the stress I had to deal with in school or in social life, I don't know. I started to be very anti-social, trying to hide myself from the crowd and all, and not very much active in the event I should join. Maybe because of exam coming soon ( AS Level in Science). Hopefully, I'll get straight A's. :)

Recently I'm having doubts with schools, financial and future. Okay, I may seem to cheerful and too carefree for all these but really, I need a break. A break from all the hassle in life. I just need some time alone, but  something just hesitate me, maybe because of studies, maybe boyfriend/family, financial I don't know. All I want to do right now, is just break free from everything. Everything has been in a rush, I just do whatever I HAVE to do, but not I WANT to do. I'm practically lifeless, frankly speaking. People may scroll through my instagram and thinking " wow, she play alot" or " she has an awesome life" LOL. But, no. Not really, I do not want my life to be all drinking, shopping, eating, party, studying. It's boring, really and all I can think of right now is just fly away alone and travel. I. Need. To. Travel. Yes, I need some of that.

Whenever I scroll through instagram or facebook, I actually envy some of those that did not continue their studies but they all they did was travelling and I'm wondering where do they get all the motivation, the guts, or the money? Okay, maybe they could have asked the money from parents. I honestly think they did not, because backpacker are independent and independent people don't ask money from parents, (just some random theories I created myself), or the time, but actually money never was a problem for me. Probably just my lack of guts and faith, and my poor time management. And I actually plan to take a one year break, or half year break after A-levels and travel. Hopefully, with a travel buddy. The thing is, most of my friends are studying, in a relationship ( probably gonna bring their bf/gf along which I totally don't want because I'm awkward and I'll make things awkward ), and some would say " no money" or " my parents wouldn't let me", some would say yeahhhhhhh on but bail me out at the last minute. HA, all sorts of excuses. All I could think of is just travel alone and having "me' time for once.

So readers, what do you think I should do? Any suggestions? Just some random thoughts by the way. :)